Some downloadable chord sheets also avaible here

A Dangerous Age

I never knew I would have go through
This phase
My God I feel so hot
In all the wrong ways
Sweaty itchy
Crabby twitchy
In a hissy fit of rage
I'm a dangerous age
And it's a dangerous age
 
I had the terrible twos and the terrible teens
And now I've got some terrible
What I might have beens, oh yeah
I ought to be pleased
Just to take my ease
Stay down on my knees
Spinning yarns and growing sage
But I'm a dangerous age
In a dangerous age
 
         I feel I can't be heard unless I shout
         And there's so much wrong with the world to shout about
         We've lost our tether, we can't trust the weather, we're deranged
         Me and the planet
         We're going through a change
 
Hag, harridan, bitch!
Crone, queen, witch!
 
My pouty looks aren't casting any spells
I'm going to have to cast them with something else, oh yeah
I've got a new view
On the human zoo
There's so much to do
Now I've broken through that cage
But it's a dangerous age
And I'm a dangerous age
 
Don't know if I've the time left to do
All the things that I want to do
Like write my novel, cure cancer, save the planet...

*

Teeth and Tits 

You can be a dizzy dizzy ditz
As long as you blitz us with your

Teeth and Tits are a girl's best bits
What about our wits?
Neah! Teeth and Tits!
Teeth and Tits and glamour and glitz
Turn the misses into hits
Yeah! Teeth and Tits!

Nobody wants your wisdom
You'll never beat the system
Chaps and chicks'll never be quits
Teeth and Tits!
Nobody cares how you're feeling
Revolting is simply unappealing
Show true grit! Don't give two shits!
Teeth and Tits, Teeth and Tits!

Look after your biters and your Bristols
Be a fighter with a pair of pistols

Teeth and Tits!
Get the moolah in your mits
Let's show our little girls
How to make it in the world

Helen Mirren is a good actress
Charlie Dimmock is good in the garden
Mariella knows a good book
Nigella knows how to cook
Angelina Jolie's got a little more roly poly
Let's not forget old Maggie
She never let her rack look saggy

Tucks and nips any size fits!
Tucks and nips any size fits!

Better use 'em while you got 'em
And you may as well throw in your bottom

Even Germain Greer exposed her rear
Take off your kits! Put on the Ritz!
Teeth and Tits!

What should we be revealing
To go through that see-through ceiling?
Talent, courage, character, wits?
Don't be twits! It's
Teeth and Tits!
 
 *

Sorry Kid 

Your hair is gonna curl
When you see what we did to the world
When it was our turn to play with it
It’s your turn now
 
We got it too hot
And the sea got too high
And we burned a little hole in the sky
We finished the oil
And we borrowed the trees
And we've gone and lost some songbirds and butterflies and bees
 
I’m sorry baby, sorry kid
We didn't mean to do it
But we did
I’m sorry baby, sorry kid
For what we did
 
Got it rather dirty and a bit more blood stained
We took it all to bits we can't fit together again
And we wrote our names on the DNA
And we swapped a future for a day
 
We wanted love, we wanted to be free
            Instead of love we made pornography
We wanted and happiness and peace
            So we put our wars further east
 
Instl
 
We wanted to end hunger and poverty
            We gave out credit cards for free
We wanted justice and equality
           
Sorry baby, I'm sorry kid
We didn't mean to do it
But we did
Sorry baby, sorry kid
That you must live with what we did

*

What You Mean To Me 

You know how I love you
I don't need to say
It wouldn't feel right
To be polite
To you
 
I don't care what other people say
They're entitled to their point of view
And silly theories about us two
But nobody knows like you and I do
What you mean to me
What you mean to me
And I mean to you
 
Lalala
 
I don't care what happened at Relate
She knew nothing with her history
Of one fine marriage and one family
No-one knows better than you and me
It's a mystery
What I mean to you
And you mean to me
 
Why should we not quarrel
It's a kind of play
So be it
If we have to split
Three times a day
 
So we're not quite Darby and Joan
We're competitive and full of
Our insecurities and jealousy
Oh it's so hard but it's how it must be
If it's you and me
 
Cos you're just like you
And I'm just like me
  
*

Love In A Wet Climate
 
In America it's what you got
On the Continent it's a cute culotte
But in Blighty hot is a lovely pot of tea
With our stiff upper lips and ironic smiles
With our ruling arses on their stately piles
In this sceptred isle and its miles and miles of sea
 
    In a wet climate you learn
  Hearts don't really burn
   Your boy scout is prepared to take plan B
  Play may be delayed
            You've got to shower proof your parade
   And you might aswell stay indoors and watch on TV
 
       Who said the English were free?
 
Well the southern soul really struts and frets
With its raging bulls and its castanets
But the Pom never gets upset so easily
Though his blood will rise for an Elgar tune
Those satanic mills are just Mills and Boon
And the moon in June is clouded in mystery
 
     In a wet climate you learn
      To wait for your turn
      Manners maketh you mind your queue and pee
      Ooh but the weather
      Brings all kinds of people together
      At least you know how to moan passionately
 
         How can you relax in your wellies and your mac?
       How can you not be cynical when your boys are in Iraq?
              And when the sun comes out you know the rain will soon come back
 
In a wet climate you learn
Hearts don't really burn
It's a figure of speech in a tongue full of poetry
From a land that made the NHS and The Beatles the BBC
Shakespeare, Blake, Jane Austen, Captain Mainwaring and Basil Fawlty
God save our gracious queen! (Elton John)
 
You might not have it made
But it's how fairly you played
     And you'll make hay in the rain if needs must be
Though you know it's in vain
           
  Who's as romantic as we?

*
           
A Bristol Boy
 
Bristol took my heart
Bristol take my bones
I would be so proud to be Bristolian!
A Bristol boy made this town my home
(May this town be my own)
 
I love to walk beside the harbour
To watch the sunset from the Downs
From Ashton Park to St Nicks market and beyond
Just smell the cider and hear the Bristol sound
 
Cary Grant Isambard Nick Park
Banksy The Wesleys and Cabot
Mary Carpenter Hannah More Perdita
Dirac Chatterton Robinson Crusoe
 
Concorde WOMAD The Old Vic
Turkish Delight, Bristol Cream,
I knew it as a girl
Before I knew the world
I did not know it was my destiny
 
Bristol has my heart
Bristol has my soul
I would be so proud to be Bristolian
But for my son born on Bristol soil
I could not have found a better home

*

Falling For You
 
My head's in a cloud and I'm laughing out loud
What's it about if not love for you? Since I found out that I care for you
My down side is up and my inside is out
Since I found out that you care for me too
 
Colours are brighter and heavy is lighter and white is whiter
 
I'm falling for you
The world feels new
All the old love songs sound beautifully true
Cos I'm falling once again for you

*

That's My Boy
 
Who's over there, tall and good looking?
He's smart and he's cool and he knows what's cooking
Everyone here is nooky hooking
Don't mess with him cos
 
That's my boy!
 
Is he a hero - he's no chicken
Is he good - yes he's kicking
is he kind - his heart is ticking
Don't mess with him cos
 
That's my boy!
 
            You won't find anyone sweeter
            No Tom Dick or Harry or Peter
            He's gonna win you all over shiny all over
            My super duper nova
 
That's my boy!
 
    Yes he's the tops
   Down to his toes
   Bless his socks!
       I love him and adore him, Heaven knows
 
That's my boy!

*

Determined To Be Sad
 
Please don't try to cheer me up
I want to wallow in the darkness
And drain this bitter cup
I want to listen to songs full of semitones and minor thirds
Dead beat rhythms moony chords and miserable words
There may be good times to be had
But I'm determined to be sad
 
Please don't try to get me out
I'll just make you regret it
Cos I'll mope and I'll pout
I don't want to drink I don't want to eat
I don't want to stand by a bar or take anyone's seat
When everybody else is glad
I am determined to be sad
 
   I don't want to be understood
    I don't want your advice
   I don't want you to be nice
 
    Talking to me won't do any good
 The world's full of shit
   I just want to quit
 
I know there's good as well as bad
But I'm determined to be sad
 
Inst'l
 
     I don't want to hear a single joke
      I'm not gonna laugh, it'll make me choke
   I don't want to come
 I'll be no fun
 
Sometimes I just need to cry
Cos sometimes people hurt you
And sometimes lovely people die
And sometimes I remember things that I regret
And sometimes I remember things I never want to forget
Yeah there was good
As well as bad

*

The Change
 
I used to turn heads in the street
Ane everyone thought I was sweet
But that was before the change
I used to be eager to please
I'd lie back and say cheese
But that was before the change
 
Now noone can see me
And nobody needs me
Its freed me to fester and rage
No longer a flower
I fruited and turned sour
But I'll find my power in the change
 
I used to be courted by men
Who I thought were my friends
But that was before the change
I'd feel distressed and debased
When they spoke to my chest and not my face
But that was before the change
 
When all that counted
Was I fit to be mounted
And made up and made to behave
Now alas I've no choice
Might as well raise up my voice
And rejoice in the change
 
La la la la la la la la la la la la
 
Inst'l break
 
Wish I'd known as a girl
What a crone of the world
Understands of her worth
All that sugar and spice
Was an unholy price
For a hole in the earth
 
All that sugar and spice
Was an unholy price
For a hole in the earth
 
*

It Doesn't Matter
 
When I was young
I was numbered among/bound to be one
All the winners, by hook or by crook
I wanted my name
To be glory and fame
But I just couldn't give what it took
 
     I don't care any more
     I don't care any more
     I don't care any more
  About that
 
Always in love
With my hand in the glove
Of a man who would drive me around
I wanted my heart
To be raised to an art
I'm afraid it was razed to the ground
 
      I don't care any more &c
 
   It doesn't matter
 
Musical interlude
 
Now that I'm old
I'm allowed to be bold
And  about what I've learned
There's one thing of worth
In all Heaven and Earth
And it cannot be saved up or earned
 
  Kindness, kindness, kindness matters

*

If I Were
 
If I were a lesbian
My love might understand
I'd show her every tenderness
And leave it in her hands
I'd treasure our sweet mystery
She'd know what it was worth
She'd see me scale the cloudless sky
And bring me back to earth
 
And we'd talk a little talk
And wear shoes that were made to walk
And I could be exactly who I am
And I might not dye my hair
If I got fat I might not care
Oh, but I want a man
 
My golden age, my diamond days
Were when I was just eight
Happy ever after
In a world I could create
I loved my plastic ponies
My recorder and my books
I didn't need attention then
Or care about my looks
 
And the fairest of all
The Beatles was Paul
And he was my favourite one
But the months and years fell by
Lucy lost the sky
Before long my favourite was John
 
Inst
 
If I were a lesbian
My love might understand
My tom boyish behaviour
Cannot complement a man's
 
If my heart were not blind
Did it know my own mind
And its crookedness unbend
I might not be alone
And my love might find a home
And the man I love might just be my best friend



I Want A Willy
 
I wanna wee in the grass
I want to climb the trees
I wanna scratch my arse
I wanna make a hole in my knees
I want the proudest smile
And the loudest laugh
I want the extra mile
I wanna be number one and a half

I want a willy x 2
            If you got a willy you get more on your plate
I want a willy x 2
    If you got a willy you can leave your stuff in a state
 
I wanna beer with the boys
I wanna ditch these heels
I wanna make some noise
I wanna fix my wheels
 
I wanna hitch hike I wanna go where I like I wanna take my pick
 I wanna blow my horn I wanna pop my corn I wanna come too quick
             I wanna bang my drum I wanna diddle diddle dum I wanna thrill my dad               
I want the extra special attention that my brothers had
           
        Don’t you know that a willy can open doors
     If you got a willy you can chuck wet towels on floors
I want to not have to queue in the Ladies loo
I want to cut bread straight and then not wipe the counter
I want to reverse park without an audience
I want to not be able to find a thing because someone put it behind a different thing
 
                Hunt my fox knock the socks off the opposite guy
                If I have to come across tits bum and box I wanna not wanna cry
                I wanna break down walls kick some balls I want a goal to score
                I wanna not give birth I wanna rape mother Earth I wanna go to war
 
I want my voice to be heard
I want my words to be read
Be aroused not stirred
Lose my heart and keep a head
 
            I don't really want a willy (I'd feel silly)
      But if I had a willy I might've got somewhere
  Don't you know this still is
            A world that belongs to willies         
And it’s not fair

*

The Stars and The Moon
 
Oh my darling Mama
I won’t be coming home soon
Cos you’ve gone dear sweet Mama
And you left me with the darling moon
 
Oh my dear old Daddy
I know where you lie
But you’re not there my dear sweet Daddy
It’s just me and the starry sky
 
I’m singing to no-one
It’s my loony tune
But it won’t feel so crazy
If I sing it to the stars and the moon
 
Oh the night is lonely
And the night is long
But it don’t feel so lonely
As long as I’m singing my song
 
Oh stars, oh moon, keep on keep on shining above
Forever remind me of my first love
Oh stars, oh moon, keep on keep on shining above
Wherever there is light there might be love
 
*

Rabbie – (hymn to consumerism/about what you could call a toy boy)
 
With gentlemen I must admit
I never had much luck
One way or another
We would always come unstuck
So I purchased a relationship
I thought would last me well
In durable wet look leatherette
Complete with duracell
 
My Rabbie, Rabbie was so dreamy
My Rabbie was always pleased to see me
My Rabbie was so cool he’d blow my mind
My Rabbie always seemed to know my mind
 
To turn him on I’d flick a knob
As easy peasy pie
My Rabbie’d get excited
I didn’t have to try
He had a firm foundation
I could build my hopes upon
Here there and everywhere
His love went on and on
 
My Rabbie was very good in bed
He didn’t ruck the sheet
Or snore or cough or fidget
And his nothings were so sweet
In my throes of passion
I told him how I felt
He stared at me so heatedly
I thought that he would melt
 
I understood my Rabbie
Could take a lot of use
I bought him a spare six pack
I kept him full of juice
Imagine my dismay then
The day he wouldn’t start
I’d chipped away his tough façade
And broken - not his heart - the most important part
 
Oh Rabbie, my Rabbie was gone
Oh my Rabbie, how could I carry on?
 
So I went and bought another one
A bigger one, in blue
This one had conversation
He could say I love you too
But it wasn’t long before
I realised that I’d been conned
The box said he would go
To infinity and beyond
 
So I went and bought another one
Made of stronger stuff
Much to my chagrin though
He was not quite strong enough
So I went and bought another one
For whom I had to care
With sharper teeth and softer skin
And more untidy hair
 
But I could not relax
Till I’d invested in the best
My Rabbie ultimato
Could pass the Turing test
With mobile phone and satnav
Hi def games and mp3s
Digital connectors
And a slot for dvds
 
Ulimato entertained me
But he told too many jokes
And had too much information
Too much like your actual blokes
So I went and bought another one
Another one and then
I’d bought as many Rabbies
As I once had men
 
None of my new Rabbies
Was a patch upon the first
A loss for which I never
Could be fully reimbursed
To tell the honest
Rabbies had me well and truly bored
I needed something different
And I’ve landed on the Lord
 
God will take me
God will take me seriously
God will move me
God will move mysteriously
God will do me
God is where it’s really at
God will do me
Cos He’s omni this and omni that
 
If I can overcome
The pain of problematic knees
If I can wholly lose myself
In holy ecstasies
If this is my vocation
I shall become a nun
And if I lose my faith
Well I can get another one
 
*

The End Of The Line
 
I woke up today the worse for wine
By the look of my bed, I’d had a good time
You did your best and I sure did mine
But this is an offer that you cannot decline
It’s the end of the line
The end of the line
The end of the line
And I’m feeling fine
 
We had a run of good days when the weather was fine
But you might as well stay where the sun don’t shine
You gave me some reasons when I wanted a rhyme
And this is an over that you can’t undermine
It’s the end of the line
The end of the line
The end of the line
And I’m feeling fine, feeling fine

*

To Be Free
 
To be free of each other
Doesn’t feel so good
Makes us feel blue
What hope for the world
We can’t stop the war
Between me and you
 
    Why do we have to scream and shout?
 What the hell is this all about?
 We know our time is running out
Soon it will be gone
 
We said we wanted peace
And love and harmony
Who is going to make it
If not people like you and me
 
To be free of each other
Doesn’t feel like freedom to me
           
    Don’t you remember what she said
                   About love                       
       The day is gone but we’re still not awake
                       
    I know we were supposed to meet
    It didn’t have to be that sweet
     We have a riddle to complete
     The only way for us to be together
 Is to be free
 
Free of the past
Free of possession
Free of jealousy and fear
To be free of vengeance
Free of anger free of some fixed idea
 
    Why must we have each our own way?
     I know it’s harder still to stay
 We’ve something beautiful to make
Together
To be free

*

Letting Go
 
The story begins in a happy home
With a book in the corner on my own
Too many kids and not enough mother
Born too close to care for each other
But we’ve all had to let our mother
Go
 
And because I was teased I played the fool
And to please everyone I was good at school
But I failed to get into Cambridge
And to finish medical college
And I had some hopes
But I let them go
 
But there’s no good in regretting
And I got so good at forgetting
But I’m not so good at letting go
 
There was a time when I thought I had it made
I lost that illusion soon as I got laid
By a wandering man he was much older
And he let me down on the hard shoulder
And I never understood
And I never let go
 
   So I choose the man who will hurt me so
Who’ll build me up and then lay me low
That I cannot win so I must let go
 
(I had my own kid so I should know
I should know what love is
I should know how to take and give it)
 
How well do I know all my dreams fall through
What more was I meant to learn by falling for you?
Locked in a cycle over and over repeating
We’re not loving we’re fighting and competing
And it seems I cannot win
Or let you go
                                               
And I hurt you as much as I am hurt
     And the moral high ground still feels like the dirt
   And I’ve held so tight to the role of victim
    But I’m letting go
 
*

Bristol Muso Blues
 
Once I had a band, ooh baby, how we loved to play
But here in the City of Music, bands just fade away
When Rachel bowed her fiddle, Lord she was adored
But in Paris and Rome and Vienna they’ll give her bed and board
 
I fell in love with my bass man, he played so sweet and free
But his bottom line was too way out, he asked me for a fee
My drummer was a straight guy, yeah he'd beat no retreat
But he swings with every combo in this old town, can't keep time just for me
 
 I got the Bristol muso blues
  We’re paying the pubs to let us sell their booze
 I got the City of Music muso blues
 Too much talent, not enough careers
    Too many songs sung to not enough ears
 
Jan’s got a little behind at the Cori with the demos
It’s getting so jazzy and avant garde cos she listens on
Oh there’s such a happening scene here, it’s booked three years ahead
What’s the bloody point of a photo shoot, by then we might be dead
 
   I got the Bristol muso blues
     Too many shows too few reviews
     I got the City of Music muso blues
     Oh Lordy Lord just do those sums
       There are more performers than seats or bums
 
We need the gigs to sell our tunes, gigs tunes are supposed to get
But who wants to punt for a tune anymore, you can rip it off the net
Hundreds of friends on Facebook, oh Lord what are friends for?
They'll come to gigs if they’re not playing their own and if their names are on your door
 
     I got the Bristol muso blues
       Too little Venue, too much news
       I got the City of Music muso blues
          Too much work for not enough wage
           So many players there’s no room on stage
 
It’s the squeaky wheel that gets the grease, so I’m squeaking all day long
I’ve got no time to play my scales, or write the bloody song
 
        I got the Bristol muso blues
        To pay the rent we’re cleaning loos
       I got the City of Music muso blues
         It's the city where bands decline and fall
           And if you can’t play for love then you won’t play at all

*

It Might Be Grey
 
Summer is over and the leaves are turning brown
I don’t really care because the summer let me down
And anyway the sun gets in the way
Of watching screens during the day
And soon it will be Christmas
Hooray!
I dream it might be white
I think it might be grey
 
Tinsel in the shops and tinsel everywhere you go
Tinsel on the airwaves and under the mistletoe
I much prefer a winter to a summer’s day
I can turn the heat up high and hide away
And soon it will be Christmas
Hooray!
I dream it might be white
I think it might be grey
 
And I can drink too much and frolic
Without fear of being labelled alcoholic
I’ll buy some stuff I’ll have to waste
I’ll stuff a bird and stuff my face
I’ll pray for peace and love and joy
I’ll sing a song by noddy holden
And I’ll buy myself a toy
 
 
And soon it will be Christmas
Hooray!
And anyone who’s lost or lonely
Will feel worse on Christmas day

*

Clear The Decks!
 
Clear the decks! Clear the decks!
There are plenty more fish in the sea
If you must insist on kissing fish
Better jettison your fetters and be free
Clear the decks cos the ex
Has exhausted your ecstasy
Banish her or him
Dry tears shed skin!
He or she is history
 
Clear the decks! Make them shine!
Consign those hearts and bones to the brine
If you must persist in pursuing bliss
Give a miss to the miss or mister who denied it
Clear the decks if pecks on the cheek
Are all he or she could provide
Draw sheets and stays
Sail away to a new phase
Place your bets on the next high tide.
 
Loose the bouy! Fish ahoy!
Plough the waters from Fair Isle to Fitzroy!
Pass those ships in the night
They give no delight
They’re nothing like the real McCoy
Clear the decks if wrecks
Are all you’ve launched with your Helen or your Troy
Make way for a new passion
Ship shape and Bristol fashion
Clear the decks for some pride and joy

Clear the decks, if recent sex
Has been less indecent than a recent cup of tea
 
 
April 2010



Don’t Go Running Out On Me
 
Like all those pretty boys I used to see
Time you’ve been treating me discourteously
You really need to learn some manners dear
Time you’ve been running out on me
 
Oh don’t go running out on me
I’ve hardly started, don’t you see?
I want a future, I’ve got enough past
Please don’t you walk so fast
Oh don’t go running out on me
 
Like the kind of love a girl used to feel
Time you’ve been flying by on wings of light
Like the kind of unkind love you heal
Time you’ve been dying slowly in the night
 
Oh don’t go running out on me
I’ve hardly started don’t you see
I want my night, I’ve had my day
Oh please don’t fly away
No don’t go running out on me
 
You’re no old daddy, time
You’re quite a baddy, time
Like that hussy lady luck
You’re just not fussy who you fuck
You dance the slow slow quick quick slow
You’re an inconstant so and so
You made a date by the silver moon
You made me late and then you came too soon
 
Oh don’t go running out on me..
 
Finished Feb 2010

*

You’re So You
 
Why do I love you so?
Why do I care
Why do my spirits sink so low
When you’re not there?
It isn’t the curl in your hair
It isn’t the clothes that you wear
It isn’t what you say or do
It’s just that you are you
 
Why do I love you so?
Why do I care?
Why do I hate to see you go
I don’t know where?
It’s not cos you’re kind or fair
It’s not that you’re blindingly aware
It isn’t that you’re good or true
It’s just that you are you
 
You’re so you x 6
 
I never could refuse you
I didn’t want to lose you
Although I didn’t choose you
You clown
 
It’s why I don’t regret you
It’s why I won’t forget you
And I never would have let you down
 
Why do I love you so? &c
 
Feb 2010

*

The World In Him
 
I see a player of many parts
I see an artist making music in my heart
I see a wizard pulling all of my strings
I see a lover of all kinds of things
 
I see the world in him
 
I see a cake maker and a baker of good bread
I see a writer of lovely handwriting in blood red
I see a taker of a mean photograph
I see a joker making everyone laugh
 
I see the world in him
 
I see reflections in his eyes of grey
I see him fight me and then walk away
I see him dreaming but too scared to fail
I see him screaming in the belly of a whale
I see a lonely child who needs to take care
I see him every way, I see him everywhere
 
I see the world in him
 
I see a river and a rock
A crock of gold not that other kind of croc
A true romantic with a wicked smile
At the end of our rainbow there’s another mile
 
A delightful impossible world in him
An uncomfortable inescapable world in him &c

*
 
Flat Hunting Blue
 
South East somewhere an hour from the tube
Is what I assume is a desirable room
With a one bar fire and half of a bed
If I live here I’ll soon be dead
 
Share with strangers a bulb on the blink
A shower and a sink
A shit sort of pink
Cash eating meters, a ransome for rent
I’d be better of in a goddam tent
 
I’m not a no smoker, I’m not yet a pro
I’m tired and I’m scruffy, there’s nowhere to go
I’m sweaty and I stink
Of London Standard ink
Flat broke and flat hunting blue
And I just don’t know what to do
 
There’s a cat in the hall but there’s no room to swing it
Junk on the wall and there’s nowhere to sling it
Piles of old binliners tied up with strings
Moth eaten mattresses made out of springs
Rows of dead doorbells that nobody rings
These are a few of my least favourite things
 
Another deposit, another address
Another street corner, another loneliness
Living on my own
There is no place like home
I’m landlorn and landlady blue
And I just don’t know what to do

*

When You’re Gone
 
When you’re gone
Time runs to heal
When you’re gone
I can appeal
To no-one
Without you I feel
Down down down
 
Then you come
Time seems to race
And I run
To your embrace
I succumb
I want to say
Stay somehow
 
You are close, you’re my friend
For a space I pretend
One kiss won’t ever end
 
Like the sun
You’re fair and bright
Turn me on
Enter my night
You’re the one
My only light
And now I see
 
We belong
It must be so
I was wrong
To let you go
Now I long
To say hello
Constantly
 
You are close &c
 
I don’t know what it is between you and me
It’s not how I expected love to be
You came into my life so quietly
I didn’t know I loved you
Til I was free

*

Friday
 
It’s Friday, already eight
How much longer do I have to wait
For the phone to ring
Today’s the date
 
It’s Friday, already nine
I’ve had the snacks and I’ve drunk the wine
And the phone is quiet
And the evening’s fine
 
Been home for hours
Had several showers
Put on glad rags
But twenty fags
Have unapplied my lipstick
And undone my scent
And I’m nearly spent
And the right time for a good time arrived
And the right time for a good time went
 
It’s Friday, already ten
There’s still a chance for other men
Who called before to call again
 
Instl
 
It’s Friday, already time
He’s left the bar, he can’t be far away
He promised to call me today
He promised to call me today
 
Been home for hours…

*

You Got Me
 
I’m gonna sing a happy song
Before it all goes wrong
Before someone changes their mind
And while love is still blind
We know to live for the day
Who knows what fate is on the way
 
I hope you love me now
Cos you’ve got me now
 
I’m gonna make some loving fun
I’m gonna lie out in the sun
Before the hurricane
Before it rains again
We know to live here and now
Who knows if we can work out how?
 
I hope you love me now
Cos you’ve got me now
 
I’m no good at making a plan
I’m no good at keeping a man
But I’m good at being real
And I’m good at knowing how I feel
 
I hope you love me now
Cos you’ve got me now
 
*

Forcver And A Night
 
I’m gonna love you forever
If that is all right
I’m gonna love you forever
I can love who I like
Whatever you do, whatever you may be
Whatever happens to you or to me
I’m gonna love you forever
 
Cos love goes further
Than wrong or right
I’m gonna love you forever and a night
You’ll never never
Blow out my light
I’m gonna love you forever and a night
 
Love is a bridge between the living
And between the living and the dead
Life is short but love is long
 
I’m gonna love you forever
If that is OK
I’m gonna love you forever
Like in ‘The Bridge on St Louis Rey’
Cos love goes deeper
Than sense or sight
I’m gonna love you forever and a night

*

Get Spiritual
 
When you cannot cope
And you’re losing hope
At the end of the rope
Get spiritual
When your body ails
And your vision fails
On your bed of nails
Get spiritual
 
Go and sit with no-one and nothing, not even a chair
And watch yourself breathe thin air
Think of the men and women who cause you pain
And realise we’re all the same
We all expected some kind of miracle birth
We’re all connected
To each other, and Mother Earth
 
Instl
 
When your shit won’t sell
When you feel like Hell
You might as well
Get spiritual
When your stuff’s all frayed
When your good looks fade
When you can’t get laid
Get spiritual
 
Emulate the pace of snail who’s had his fill
In other words completely still
Think of all you’ve gained and lost. Give up the fight
Open up to the light
Everybody, everybody’s life is hard
Everybody needs
Don’t need to call it God
 
Call it soul, call it heart
Call it music, call it art
Call it beauty, call it truth
Call it up on the roof
Call it Tao
Call it Love
Call it Oneness
Call it Jesus or Buddha or Allah or God
Or Goddess

*

Junior Brown
 
Junior Brown was old and grey
When he found the time to lose his way
What crossed his mind was hard to say
But he knelt down anyway
 
God in Heaven, you gave us life, love, lust
Why d’you turn us to ashes and dust
 
No surprise there was no reply
So he got right up and he dried his eye
He’d learned at school the knot to tie
And he wore the rope with his head held high
 
Oh Mother is this how empires fall?
If you loved me you’d hear my call
 
Instl
 
Junior Brown felt he had no choice
Couldn’t tell the truth til he lost his voice
But as he swung he changed his mind
Too late to live too soon to find
Life is not as long as a piece of string
Life might not be everything
 
*

You’re My Real Man
 
You’re not the kind of man I had in mind
You’re not even kind
Too heavy, too hearty, too hot
Is what you’re not
 
You never bring me flowers or champagne
You make me wait for fours in the rain
And I love you, I love you, I love you
 
You’re nothing like my ideal man
You’re solid flesh you’re my real man
 
To tell the truth you’re not too tall
In fact you’re small
You’re strange and dark, to be fair
But you lost that hair
 
Sometimes I want to will you, but you won’t
You want to do precisely what I don’t
And I love you, I love you, I love you
 
You’re nothing like my ideal man…
 
You’re not a millionaire
You got no loot, you’re not that cute
We are a miserable pair
You treat me like dirt, you give me hurt
You make me swear
 
Why I want to see you, I don’t know
I only know my heart aches  when you go
And I love you, I love you, I love you
 
You ‘re nothing like my ideal man…

*

They Fuck You Up
 
They fuck you up your children do
They take your all and give you blue
They fall apart and then blame you
For nurture and for nature too
But they’ll be fucked up in their turn
By kids who’ll run them off their legs
Who half the time will never learn
And half will teach you to suck eggs
 
But other people’s kids are worse
Which makes up all the rest of Man
So multiply! Divide! Disperse!
And bear as many as you can

*

Never Ending Love
 
When my day is done
When all my tears are shed
When solitud is closing
Like a winding sheet around my bed
When lovers have all gone
Never to come again
When life itself abandons me
What will I do then?
 
I’ll see the world has been
Heaven for a fool
I’ll listen for the still small voice
I sang about at school
I’ll know that all things must
Crumble into dust
And in your never ending love
I will put my trust
I’ll have to put my trust

*

Sometimes Nothing
 
Sometimes nothing is the only thing to say
 
Like when someone has said it all before
Like when someone’s still heading for the door
Nothing, I’m saying nothing
 
Like when someone is claiming black is white
Like when someone is spoiling for a fight
Like when someone is twisting your tongue
Like when someone’s already got you hung
 
Nothing, I’m saying nothing
Maybe  nothing will come of nothing

*

Pass It On
 
You can’t own a chord
But you can pass it on
You can’t own a thought
Unless you pass it on
All that you were taught
You can pass it on
Everything can be sold and bought
Or you can pass it..
On your own
Everything passes on
Except the passing on

*

The Setting Sun
 
Don’t want to think about my past
It always hurts
But thinking of my future
That’s even worse
I always thought I’d have some fun
But I’m just gonna go now
And look
At the setting sun
 
After fifty years
I still don’t know what life is for
Been living in the moment
Making love not war
Always looking for the one
But I’m gonna go now
And look
At the setting sun
 
They say the last of the day is the best of the day
Well, the last of the day is all that I have
While I’m still around
And the sun’s still above the ground
 
People I’ve loved
People have broken my heart
Nature I have loved
And next to nature, art
Money and success I never wanted or won
I’ve always just gone
To look
At the setting sun

*

Leo
 
The kindest man I’ll ever know
And the sweetest
Was Leo
 
The least selfish man I’ll ever know
The most sensitive of souls
 
He was my northern star at sea
And he inspired me to be free
But it was hard for him to let me go
Sailing into the undertow
 
He made sure that I was safe
I was too careless and too brave
I nearly fell into his grave
I nearly fell into his grave
 
It was hard for him to die
And hard for me to say Goodbye
I’m so lucky and so glad
Leo was kind enough
To be my dad
 
*

Another Like Him
 
I saw him smile, that was enough
Fell in love
Asked him out, we had a laugh
He fell in love
It wasn’t long ‘til I moved in
Together forever
Two years on and I moved out
But I never never found
Another like him
Another one like him
 
That was twenty years ago
I thought I’d forgotten him
Towers fall, rivers flow
But I’m not shot of him
Someone else the other day
Got me feeling the same old way
And the one I want is
Another like him
Another one like him
 
When you’ve had a good time
Don’t you want it again
When you’ve had a good time
Don’t you want it again and again
When you’ve had a good time
Don’t you want it again and again and again
When you’ve had a good lover
You want a good ‘nother
 
He’s got the same style
A little bit older
The same beaming smile
And that laid back shrug of the shoulder
 
When you’ve had a good time
Don’t want it again…
 
Same again please
I’ll have another like him

*

Adieu
 
Is it adieu or bon voyage or aurevoir or a bientot?
Au dessus des nouages il fait toujours beau
And I thought that he would fly with me
Or at least try
I don’t care what they say in France
‘Cause in England it’s goodbye
 
Goodbye…
 
Ma message dernière a dit
Gardes mes letteres si tu doits je les ai écrit
Pour un homme qui m’aimait
Il n’existait pas
C’était lui qui j’aimais
Sous bas, la bas
 
Mes lettres etaient listes de lui
Pourquoi et comment
J’en ai eu envie
Son cou ses cheveux sa peau ses épaules ses mains ses bras
Son coeur son ame son esprit son etre son soi
 
Prestidigitateur, était une illusion pour moi
Ou sont ses beaux yeux?
Ou est son voix?
 
J’ai allume une chandelle pour lui
J’ai prie qu’il se resent un peu de l’empathie
Et qu’il se trouve dans sa vie
Et que je le laisse à Paris
Et À Dieu
 
Adieu…
 
Prestigitateur, il a disparu pour moi
Ou sont ses beaux yeux
Ou est son voix?

*

Is This Love Then?
 
I never believed in love at first sight
It took at least the whole of Saturday night
I woke to find a dream was coming true
It was waiting just for you
 
Is this love then Xavier?
But it’s so easy and so nice
Is this love then Xavier?
But it feels more like Paradise
 
I saw you sitting in my favourite chair
I threw my red shoes on the floor – I didn’t care
You stood and took my hand and I said to you ‘Tu es?’
And you replied ‘Je suis francais.’
 
Is this love then…
But it feels more like Paradise
 
As if I’d died in your arms
 
I’m glad I love the taste of wine
I’m glad I never know the time
I’m glad I learned un peu francais
Enough to know you, Xavier
 
You walked me home through the cold night air
You said you’d find a taxi cab from there
We drank the wine I bought for Christmas day
Nous avons bien communiqué
 
I’m glad I showed you to that door
I’m glad I always ask for more and more
I’m glad I learned enough francais
To understand you, Xavier
 
Is this love then Xavier?
Est ce que c’est ceci l’amour?
Is this love then Xavier?
It never felt so nice before
 
As if I’d been born once more

*

Jan
 
Jan
I love that name
Like a gentle sigh to soothe my pain
I hear it all the time
I put it in a song
I couldn’t find the rhyme
I couldn’t find the rhyme
 
Jan
I love that name
Lide an open cry from an Eastern plain
I used to spell it wrong
Put I instead of J
But not for very long
But not for very long
 
It looks like Jan
Which rhymes with plan, began, ran
A rose would sound as sweet
But the sound is not the man
He wants us to be friends
I don’t know if I can
 
Jan
I love that name
Like a murmur of surprise the day he came
I found it on my phone
Beside a double x
I’m leaving it alone
I’m leaving it alone
 
Our voices used to weave
There wasn’t any doubt
But voices turned to whispers
There was no need to shout
And tracks come to an end
And this one’s fading out

*

Mama Mama
 
Mama mama
You gave us your world
Mama mama
Your hopeless girl
Forgot to say Thank you
For having me
When you showed me you loved me
I didn’t see
 
Mama mama
You gave everything
Mama mama
For you I’ll sing
Of love at my first sight
And love at your last
Of love that’s not easy
A mother’s task
 
Mama mama
Lulla lullaby
Mama mama
     Your baby’s crying
 
Your hope was in Jesus
But I don’t believe
I must face those five nevers
That you would leave
 
Mama mama
Lulla lullaby
 Mama mama
Lullaby
 
You bore seven babies
Pain was a bad old friend
But this trip he gave you
No baby at the end
 
   Mama mama
 You were the babe
 I don’t know about Jesus
 But I know you were saved

*

Two to tango
 
It takes two to tango
That’s what they say
It takes two to tango
It takes two to play
But to spoil the fun
And fuck up the tango
It takes one
To fuck up the tango
 
I can bend over backwards
I can go through hoops
Bloody hell and high water
Like the woman who stoops
To conquer for love
But no matter what I do
It’s never enough
No matter what I do
 
     When some old timer asks you onto the floor
    Don’t imagine that he must know the score
     Just cos he’s been around and he looks rather sweet
     Doesn’t mean to say that he hasn’t got  two left feet
 
Instl break
 
All  the self-help books
Sitting on my shelf
Are not gonna help me
I gotta help myself
Cos I’ve been to Relate
I can communicate
And I’ve learned how to wait
 I hope it’s not too late
To stop getting attracted to
Moody bastards
How can I stop getting addicted to
Moody bastards?
 
It takes two to tango
And it’s two for tea
Whereas three is a crowd
Two is just company
And where there is a lock
One hopes there might be a key
How can I stop enjoying the society
Of moody, difficult, oversensitive, argumentative, narcissistic, artistic, passionate types like me

*

The One and I
 
Sunny sky
Clear and high
I could cry
Like a fool
And my soul
Could fly
Cos we two are one again
The one and I
 
Open your eyes
Surprise surprise
Something dies
Like the day
And the spring
You never know
It may rise again like
The one and I
 
            It’s not as if it was cut and dried
            I had to let the gods decide
            And everyone is as mystified
            As the one and I

*

Hold On
 
Loving is tough
It’s never enough
We need other stuff
It’s hard to be kind
When you’re out of your mind
Or hungry, or sleeping rough
Hold on, hold on, sometimes you just hold on
Hold on, hold on, find someone and hold on
 
Everything here
Will disappear
One day, one year
You and I
Will live and we’ll die
Why
May never be clear
 
Hold on, hold on, sometimes you just hold on
Hold on, hold on, find someone and hold on
 
Isn’t it so
We’re supposed to let go
Of everything we love and we know
That time will be
Soon enough for me
Meanwhile I propose
Hold on, let’s hold on, let’s take hands and hold on
Hold on, hold on, let’s shake hands and hold on

*

Always
 
You’re all my hope
You’re all my dream
And all my life
I’ve longed for you
You’re all the man
I love and need
All the way
Through and through
You’re all I want
Of truth and art
All of you
With all my heart
And all my nights
And all my days
I’ll be yours
Always
 
Always, always, always, always
 
I’ve changed my mind
I got it wong
You were all right
But not for long
And all our vows
Are all at sea
It is all off
I’m altogether free
Cos all in all
I’ve had enough
Of all of our nonsense
About all of our stuff
It’s all the same
Cos all I know
Is all that comes
Must always go
 
Always, always, always, always

*

One of Us
 
So love has lost you and you want to take my hand
You want to lead me through this promising land
But I’ve been this way before so many times so long
All I recall is that
It doesn’t go anywhere but wrong
Sooner or later
One of us is gone
 
I know this river and these clover covered hills
This silver shore that magic wood those daffodils
Aren’t you feeling that it’s time for moving on?
Don’t you know my love,
It doesn’t go anywhere but wrong?
The road runs out and
One of us is gone
 
I’ll take your hand if you’ll take mine and let us go
And I’ll pretend if you’ll pretend we do not know
How bitter is the wind, how plaintive is its song
Let’s make our promises as usual
To still be holding on
Til sooner or later
One of us is gone

*

Slap My Wrist
 
Slap my wrist
I wanna be kissed
I want you to come on, and stay on
The end of my list
Take my test
Get yourself undressed
And I hope baby baby baby
You wear a vest
 
No mistake
You’re a piece of cake
Gonna have you and eat you
For a break
Make no mess
Love me more or less
Cos I need baby baby baby
An address
 
I’m no easy woman
I need to have room n
I need understanding
I’ll give you the lot
But I’ll take all you’ve got
And I’m very demanding
 
Drive me bats
Take away my tats
I’ve  been keeping on kipping
On floors of flats
I claim your steak
Heal my heartache
Cos I’m ready ready ready
To jump in the lake
 
I’m no easy womn…
 
Get me sussed
Make me a must
I’m not lying I’m dying
For your trust
I’ve confessed
I wanna be blessed
And you know baby baby baby
I need a rest

*

If Men Are All Balls
 
If men are all balls, I’ll be a juggler of men
If anyone falls, I won’t be falling again
I’ll catch them and drop them and bounce them around
And throw them over the wall
If men are all balls
 
If men are all fools, I’ll be a teacher of men
They may break my rules but my heart won’t get broken again
I’ll spank them and scold them and pull up their socks
I won’t be losing my cool
If men are all fools
 
I will use men as I have been used
Confuse men, as I’ve been confused
I’ll make false starts and I’ll break hearts
And I’ll give give give give give give give
Give them the blues/their dues
 
If men are all boys, I’ll be a sister of men
I’ll tread on their toys and I won’t play that love game again
I’ll tease them and twist round their puppy dog tales
There’ll be no oohs only oys
If men are all boys
 
I will use men…
 
If men are all mouth, I’ll be a kisser of men
And spit in their eyes so my own won’t be pouring again

*

Toujours Encore
 
Who is the one who drives me to my limit
And when I break through, drags me right back in it?
Who is the one who takes all of my giving?
He is the one who makes my life worth living
 
Toujours, Encore, qui j’aime, qui j’adore c’est toujours lui
Toujours, Encore, qui j’aime, qui j’adore c’est toujours lui
 
 
Who is the one who can’t say sorry or please
But when I need him to he gets down on his knees?
Who is the one who makes me scream and shout?
He is the one I cannot bear to be without
 
Toujours, Encore…
 
C’est lui, I’ll never forget
C;est lui, though we’ve only just met
Cest lui, my best and my worst
C;est lui, my last and my first
 
Instl break
 
Who is the one who thinks he’s always right?
Who is the one I cannot help but fight?
Who is the one who keeps me up all night?
He is the one who’s shown me the light
 
Toujours, Encore…
 
Cest lui…

*

Like A Yoyo
 
Like a yoyo
Hanging on your string
Like a yoyo
Just your pretty plaything
Like a yoyo
Spinning round and round
Like a yoyo
Up and down up and down up and down
 
Rock and rolling around off the ground
Isn’t great to do
And a girl’s got it wrong if she longs to
Belong to you
And I’d feel less dizzy and sick on a
Roller coaster ride
Well it looks kind of jolly and fun
But I just gotta run
Cos it hurts inside
 
Like a yoyo…
 
And you can’t move and inch or a foot
If you’re trussed and tied
And you can’t see a bloody fucking thing
If you’re starry eyed
And I’d feel less shook up and shit
Being hooked on smack
I remember when you picked me up
Now you just put me down
And I wanna go back
 
I wanna cut this string
I wanna finish this thing today
I wanna quit stalling
I wanna grow some wings and fly away
 
Away
 
Instl
 
(Like a yoyo)
I don’t wanna be like a yoyo
(Like a yoyo)
I wanna be free
(Like a yoyo)
I don’t wanna be like a yoyo
(Like a yoyo)
I just wanna be like me

*

Fantasy
 
The lights were off but there was somebody home
I considered my options they were leading to Rome
So I shook off my shoes and I unhooked the phone
Oooooh
I unhooked my phone
 
My head was half empty my bed was half full
The night was hot but my body was cool
I said I’ll slip into something more comfortable
Oooooh
More comfortable
 
Than my relationships with men
Which fail again and again and again
What I need now is
 
Fantasy
 
Fantasy - my own web of lies has captured me
Fantasy - I’m falling for Mr Nobody
 
I cooked my lobster and I cracked my champagne
To woo a woman like myself, no champagne no gain
I lit my scented candles at both ends
For me and my imaginary friends
Oooooh My imaginary friends
 
It’s fun for one
Or two or three
There’s no limit
To my kind of party
If he’s too busy or away
Or too married or too gay
Or too young or just too not that into me that way
 
He will be free
In my fantasy
In my
 
Fantasy – my own web of lies has captured me
Fantasy - I’m falling for Mr Nobody
 
Fantasy - it beats virtual reality
Fantasy - it doesn’t beat me
 

Tu m’As Dit
 
J’ai cru que tu etais un vraiment bon homme
Mais j’ai su que quand meme tu es triste
Quand tu m’as dit que tu etais un mauvais garcon
Enfin je t’ai vu – egoiste
 
Too good to be true, tu n’etais pas vrai, sauf quand confesser que tu es mauvais
 
Uniquement entre nous un instant d’honete
Dans ton lit oh la la
Tu m’as dit que tu n’es pas capable de l’amour
Et j’ai dit tu as decide ca
Et puis d’etre gentil serait pour toi un travail
Le jour quand j’ai parle que l’anglais
Cos you’d made me walk an extra mile
Just so you could be a bit late
 
Too good to be true, tu n’etais pas vrai, sauf quand confesser que tu es mauvais
 
Et les choses dont tu m’accuse
Sont les choses dont on peut t’accuser
J’etais qu’une glace
comme la glace au pied de ton lit
Ou tu vois toutes tes petites filles
 
Tu es comme un petit enfant
Exigeant en choler narcissique
Menteur, manipulateur, exploiteur
Et un peu ou boucoup sadique
 
Tu m’as dit que je prends et je prends et je prends
Mais qu’est ce que je donne?
Je t’ai donne mon coeur et mon cul et mon con
Et tes cartes et tes cadeaux troyennes
Tu  es comme un petit enfant
Exigeant en choler egoiste
Sans de l’amour, sans de la tendresse, sans sentiment, sans gentillesse
Et tu seras toujours triste
 
Et je suis desolee, vraiment desolee que maintenant je ne peux pas t’aimer

*


Thankyou for the Blues
 
TFTB
These are such good news!
Typical of you
To give me a surprise
Like I would never choose!
 
TFTB
These I’m gonna use!
Typical of you
To give me something special
I’m never gonna lose.
 
What to  give the girl who’s got it all?
Make her a cake! Throw her a ball!
Fill up the sky with stars and balloons,
Or fill her heart with melancholy tunes
 
Thank you, thank you
They’re just what I need
Thank you
Thank you very much indeed
 
TFTB (several times)
 
What a lovely thought! What a find!
You shouldn’t have! You’re much to kind
Ribbons and bows and jewels  and gauds
Are nothing to a set of pretty chords
 
Thank you, thank you
For being my muse
Thank you, thank you
For the blues
 
TFTB (several times)
… that made this song
 
Instl
 
Thank you for the blues
These I’m gonna use
Typical of you
To give me something special
I’m never gonna lose
I’m never gonna lose
I’m never gonna lose
To you!

*
 
Who Needs A Man?
 
He’ll pull your cork
And fill your cup
Then pull you down
And fuck you up
           
Who needs a man? X 2
 
He’ll kiss you once
And kiss you twice
Then quit
At the doors of Paradise
 
Who needs a man? X 2
 
Sexual healing
Sounds quite appealing
But I got the feeling
I can heal myself
 
Fatal attraction
Pain and distraction
If you want satisfaction
Stay on the shelf
 
Who needs a man x 4
 
I got the fever
Need a reliever
I’m a believer
In aspirin
 
Moonlight and mating
How fascinating
I’ll try masturbating
And save my skin
 
Cos I need a man
Like a fish needs to swim
 
Like a river needs to run
Like the moon needs the sun
Like the earth needs the sky
Like a bird needs to fly
Like a flower needs the rain
Like an orphan needs a name
Like the crazy need the sane
Like a fire needs the air
Like the dying needs a prayer
Like a loser needs to win
Like the devil
 
His vibe, his groove, his feel, his move, his hands, his eyes
His want, his need, his lust, his greed, I even needs hie lies
 
Who needs a man x 4
 
I need a man like the sun needs to rise
 
 

VERSE

to my teacher

 

as the next time we meet about work is never

let's meet about the weather or the time of day

let's meet about dust or sacks of gold

air or water, crust or clay

let's meet about what you cannot know

or what you think and cannot say

reason, rhyme, fact, fancy

poem, prose or play

 

opposites attract

dry to my sweet
blue to my red
cool to my heat
rise to my bed
straight to my round
light to my black
hard to my down
front to my back
bone to my flesh
in to my out
slow to my rush
hush to my shout
beat to my rest
mind to my soul
goal to my quest
part to my whole
thought to my feel
doubt to my guess
wish to my real
no to my yes
spear to my wheel
tower to my tree
lost to my found
bound to my free

***

An instant is enough

in oily eyes the sun floated
and our throats full of the tide
were laughing utterly gently ‘til
a smile bit his face
and hers
twin devils met

he turned her head
she clothed his gaze
too late
the searing tongue
she let inside
still sucks and spits

it twisted
and grew nails
pushed thumbs into her lips
and scraped at his strong hair
to show a sapling vein
pulsate and spill

an instant is enough
to tell what might have been
the start, the end
nothing between

***
 

how to break up

he
decides then attacks
with a clean sweep
of a sharp axe
as if humanity were flint
to cut and pare
into finite
line and square

she knows
relationship is life
which grows
and bleeds
on the knife
and needs
to heal
the seal of
humour, forgiveness
care

***

i said that love for him

I said that love for him
might be like masturbation
I was wrong
a wank is ten times as amusing
twice as long

***

be consoled

be consoled
he had to give you
neither gold
nor heart nor house
and how would you have ever nursed
the cursed issue of a
girl and mouse?

***

the dear Joan letter

why reply to a dear Joan letter
if you’re upset, make him upsetter
when you recall his meanest curse
recall that yours were ten times worse
for all the hurt that you incurred
you deserve the final word
now you know he’s a lousy fucker
ignore the chuck and be the chucker

***

yours truly

I hoped one day I might be hailed
with an affectionate ‘Dear’
and was
when I received the letter
he curtailed
with apologies sincere

***

what to call what we had

friendship of a sort:
short

love of a kind:
blind

affair liaison fling tryst
at least we kissed

we bonded
well, we corresponded

almost mates
we had two dates

in a manner of speaking we were together
bluff and blether

***

a golden rule

never believe a word of a man
before he lies
but afterwards he’ll speak (or sleep)
without disguise
men profess so to exploit us
then confess
post coitus

***

wrong little dickie bird

I thought his name meant rock
but it means small
he wasn’t big enough
to break the fall
of cradle baby all
but once he’d owned me
simply stoned me
and his name was one of many words
I misconstrued
like serious
unhappy
bowl me over
change my life
and I’d
and you’d

***

don’t have sex with oedipus rex

never date a man
who loves his mum
too much:
he may despise you
but the man
who hates her
if you love him
crucifies you

***

is this a dovey love?

is this a dovey love?
a red moon rising over southern sea shooting star peppered sky
abovey love?
a smile to make you wet kiss to make you sweat bodies closing like skin in pigskin glovey love?
no
it’s another
unlovey one love game of shoot and shove, love